I HATE grocery shopping.

Ok, I don't always hate grocery shopping. But every time I find myself at my local Superstore on a weekend, I wonder why, oh, why didn't I go during the week. Or send the man to do it. You know, I wouldn't mind if it was just *busy*, but NO, people have to be so damned inconsiderate and self-absorbed. If everybody just followed a few rules, shopping would be so much nicer! 1.) Get off your freakin cell phone. As talented as you may be, you quite simply lack the skills to steer a defective Superstore cart, decide *which* box of Cheerios you want, and carry on a conversation about your hangnails. 2.) You do not require a cart to carry 3 apples and a tub of yogurt. 3.) Leash and muzzle your children. I am SO tired of a.) being run into by hyperactive children and b.) having food stolen OUT OF MY CART by children. Just because you can't parent your own child doesn't mean that I should have to. 4.) Do not bring more than the absolute minimum number of people on your shopping trip. You do not need FIVE people to get two boxes of Peak Freans. Also there is NO conceivable justification for bringing your parents, your wife's parents, a sister, *AND* your three kids to the grocery store. And whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, whip out your freakin digicam and start taking PICTURES of your kid with all your freakin family members in the middle of the aisle. Your kid isn't any cuter than any other. Get over it. Geez. 5.) It does not take 20 minutes to pick out a box of cereal. It just doesn't. 6.) Dawdling, strolling leisurely, and meandering should all be punishable offenses. It's a Superstore, not a freakin nature walk. 7.) LOOK before entering an "intersection" between two aisles people. Granted, people apparently don't know how do to this when entering 4-way stops on the street, so maybe I'm asking too much here. Still. 8.) If you do need a little time to contemplate which particular brand of spaghetti sauce you want, a.) don't stand in the middle of the aisle while you're doing it, and b.) don't look at me like *I'M* the freak when I say "excuse me" so I can get past you. Ah. I feel much better now that I've ranted. Malls are bad enough on weekends this time of year... but a grocery store inside a mall on a weekend this time of year??? Somebody shoot me. (Reminder to self - time to shopping at Save-On at 10 pm... so quiet..)